Though it’s unfortunately sunny today, It had been raining hard in Beirut these last couple of days.
Very hard.
There’s been torrential rain and heavy winds, lightning and thunder too. The sky had turned a bit orange. If there was any American Evangelical Christians here, they’d think it was the rapture.
I love it though. The summer, however, I can’t stand. All that heat, sweatiness and never ending sunshine. Sorry people, not for me. Give me the apocalyptical storms over that hell, any day of the week.
But, whatever my views on the never-ending Beirut summer, I have to admit that the winter here brings up some very weird occurrences. Said simply, Lebanon, like a nudist colony, is ridiculously unequipped for this season.
When the winter strikes in Lebanon, you’re reminded of how far behind we are as a country. It’s 2012 out there, but once a bit of rain hits Beirut you become like Marty Mcfly in Back to the Future: transported to an era where everything is terribly backwards.
New to Lebanon? Here is some advice on what to expect during the winter:
1) The Internet does not exist: Seriously. As soon as there’s a storm, consider yourself dragged back to the early 1990s. Your connection goes the minute the first thunder storms hit. On the plus side, if there’s a war, don’t fret: you’ll be fine. We’re the only country in human history whose internet connections laugh in the face of Israeli missiles but collapse at the mere sound of wind and rain. Go figure.
2) Cable TV has not been invented: If being dragged back to the 90s didn’t do it for you, try the 70s. If you want to watch some cable, it’s not any TV guide you need to check but the meteorological reports. Scour them with the same intensity as the Americans scoured caves for WMDs in Iraq. Because, believe me, you can have any hugely expensive system in place, but the moment a storm hits, your TV watching fate is in the hands of the Gods.
3) Forget driving: The roads are filled with water. The sewers inundated. Traffic screeches to a halt. People are absolutely petrified of the rain to the degree where the roads are so packed it’s like in Independence Day when the aliens invade. Normal driving in the rain is absolutely anathema to Lebanese people. Walk. Because trust me, if you’re driving, by the time you get to where you want to go, it’ll be summer.
4) Love your house: You’ll be spending a lot of time in it. Going out when it’s raining doesn’t make much sense to us. It gets to the point where you don’t need to ask people what they’re doing. You just look at the weather. Forget about doing any outdoor sports too. Lebanese people just cannot comprehend that playing football in the rain is not just something that happens in Fifa on the Playstation.
5) Don’t be afraid: Of the weird things your electricity is doing: it’s happening to all of us. This is not a horror movie. The fact that your lights are flickering on and off is very normal. No ghost is in your room. We can barely guarantee any electricity in normal times anyways so the orange light emanating from the light bulb in your room is nothing out of the ordinary. Trust me.
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